The "Me" Generation

Jean Twenge and W. Keith Campbell just released their excellent book “The Narcissism Epidemic,” which concludes that this is the most narcissistic generation ever and points the finger at today’s parents. I am delighted that this book has been written and that this subject is starting to get some play. I have been screaming about this trend for years and am worried sick that we are raising kids unable to cope with the vicissitudes of life. An assortment of attitudes and behaviors that exemplify this trend include:


1. Everyone gets a trophy. Excellence can’t be singled out for fear that the other kids feelings will be hurt.


2. Parents suing school districts if their child fails or gets suspended.


3. Kids under age five getting expensive electronic game systems (replaced, of course, as soon as an upgrade becomes available).


4. Kids being over scheduled with activities because parents want to make sure they don’t miss anything.The kids themselves don’t even know what they really enjoy anymore!


5. Birthday parties costing hundreds if not thousands of dollars.(What happened to having a few close friends over your house and playing hot potato?)


6. A fully paid 4 year college tuition to a good school plus room and board is considered a right, not a privilege.


7. Always letting the child win in competitive games.


8. General lack of discipline…parents are afraid to discipline their kids.


9. Kids getting toys they want right away. Kids today never get the sense of what it means to really wish for something and wait(sometimes years) to finally get it.


10. Parents telling coaches how to coach and teachers how to teach. Notion here is that it is always someone else’s fault if a child isn't succeeding.


11. Parents think it is their job to prevent their kids from being BORED. When did boredom get such a bad rap? Last I checked, lots of great things start with being bored(See DR. Seuss Cat in the Hat!) This rushing in to "cure" their kids boredom leads to a culture of addiction to "new" "better" "faster" and "bigger".


12. General lack of focus on social skills, etiquette and respect for adults.


I could keep going of course. So why is this all so bad for kids? The biggest problem I have with this is that it prevents children from learning how to deal with real life. If they are never allowed to feel frustration, or boredom, or the pain of losing a game, how can they develop skills to cope with it? They can’t and won’t. Second problem s that they never learn to value anything.They never have to wait a long time to get something they want, so when they get it, it is not really big deal. Next, is that they don’t learn how to make their own way in life. They expect the world to conform to their needs, and if the world does not conform, then certainly Mom or Dad will fix it for them. I fear this will produce a generation of lazy children totally lacking in self motivation and creativity.
I applaud the authors who have the guts to point out where we are going wrong as parents and recommend that all parents read it!